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Whilst you might real off a list of items like shoes, handbags, clothes, gadgets, cars and the like, are these your REAL needs? The reality is that we have basic human needs such as having a sense of belonging, feeling loved, appreciated, esteemed, and feeling fulfilled. When we overlook these, they cause a gap or hole.

Mistakenly, many of us try to fill these holes with what we feel we need i.e. the materialistic items, as our present-day encourages us to do. However, this never satisfies us – not in the long run anyway. And when we even try using other items such as food, alcohol, money/spending, work/busyness, gambling, and drugs, they end up creating other problems further down the line.
And so the time has to come when you must simply get real and ask yourself the tough question: ‘what are my real needs?’ Once identified and acknowledged, you need to find a way of meeting those needs. I suggest you incorporate the following: 1) God, 2) yourself and 3) others. From my experience, the God factor plays a crucial role and forms the foundation on which you can build on. So, you will need to pay attention to the spiritual side of you.
Next, you will need to take practical steps to meet your needs. If you want to feel more appreciated, loved and esteemed, you may want to consider, for example, being part of a loving and supportive community e.g. a church. You may also need to review your relationships (i.e. close friends, acquaintances) and possibly ‘drop’ some friends and seek new ones. If you are feeling unfulfilled, you may want to take time out to reflect on the question, ‘why am I here?’ in relation to your purpose. It could be that you have not tapped into your innate resources (i.e. gifts/talents, skills) and applied it.

In closing, remember that when we don’t get our needs met, we end up taking the wrong action and filling the ‘holes’ of our lives with the wrong thing. Don’t fall into this trap. Instead, look inwardly and I believe you will find the answers you are looking for.



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