Do you find yourself always wanting to please others or seek their approval? Maybe they have made you feel inadequate in the past and you are striving to live up to who they expect you to be? Or it could be you are seeking to get their attention or love because without it, you just don’t feel right? If that is the case, read below to discover what I personally did to overcome this.
Dancing To the Tune Of Others
In the past, when I found myself entangled in such traps, I found the best thing I could do for myself was to pull away for a while, to establish what was driving me. Upon reflection, I discovered I was driven by the voices of others, from my ‘yesterdays’ and ‘yesteryears’, telling me I needed to do better or change myself, to gain their attention or affection. In short, they were telling me I was not good enough.
Because I (foolishly) placed value on such statements, they constantly replayed in my mind. As I was desperate for their approval or to fit, I found myself dancing to their tunes such as working harder, pushing myself beyond reasonable limits, setting unrealistic goals and conforming even though it went against the grain of who I was.
Freedom From People Pleasing
And so, years down the line, after feeling drained from seeking the approval of others, I found myself turning to God to remind me of who I was. I needed a reminder of who I had been created to be. I needed a reminder of His precious thoughts towards me. After all, when all was said and done, that’s what really counted. So, hearing words like, “you are special to Me”, “I love you”, “I’m proud of you” or “you are on the right track” gradually expunged my mind of the junk I had picked up along the way.
Over time, I discovered that I no longer felt the need to please others. ‘Take me as I am‘, became my mantra. Of course, this was no excuse for not being my best or continually improving myself. Notwithstanding, it was a huge burden off my shoulders knowing that my life was NOT about pleasing others but the ONE who sent me to planet earth.
And when the penny dropped, I finally realised that I really didn’t need to please anyone or fight for their attention or love because I am famous to God! He knows me, loves me, encourages me and cherishes me. That all His little princess (i.e. moi) needed. How liberating is that?
And so, these days, when I show up everyday, my sole agenda is to simply be the woman God has created me to be. In walking with Him continuously, I get momentary reminders of the precious being I am to Him. A girl can’t ask for anymore than that and I am tickled pink to know that My Daddy loves me, regardless!
Written by Gladys Famoriyo. Author of: Overcoming Emotional Baggage; Healing A Discouraged Heart; Quit Hiding, Start Living! and Bounce Back!